And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Mom said you looked used
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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