Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Randomize