ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize