i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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