i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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