I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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