he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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