It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
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Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
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The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
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