your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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