best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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