I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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