I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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