so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
this hospital has no fireball
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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