I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
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