They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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