we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize