They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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