We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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