Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
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