You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize