why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Randomize