I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
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plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
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so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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