I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
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