We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
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