I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
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