so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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