a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize