I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize