she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
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He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
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Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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