please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time i carry you out of a forest
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Randomize