Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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