I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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