Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize