I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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