She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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