I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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