So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize