I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize