Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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