Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize