I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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