My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
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The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
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We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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