we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
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I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
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I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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