Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
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