The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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