Texts From Last Night

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  (914): View more from New York

  omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch

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  (914): omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch http://tfl.nu/rn4k
  Replies (26) Good night (530) Bad night (6791) Order T-Shirt
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.

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  (860): Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV. http://tfl.nu/ridn
  Replies (2) Good night (431) Bad night (2428) Order T-Shirt
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.

  (1-314): View more from Missouri

  i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is

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  (314): we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke. (1-314): i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is http://tfl.nu/c6uw
  Replies (26) Good night (2372) Bad night (449)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.

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  (317): fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked. http://tfl.nu/j4lz
  Replies (7) Good night (633) Bad night (3686) Order T-Shirt
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  (906): View more from Michigan

  Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here

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  (906): Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here http://tfl.nu/0qbu
  Replies (12) Good night (5827) Bad night (627) Order T-Shirt
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.

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  (513): i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom. http://tfl.nu/yu7b
  Replies (23) Good night (6852) Bad night (1032) Order T-Shirt
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.

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  (419): There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume. http://tfl.nu/d17l
  Replies (5) Good night (1912) Bad night (772) Order T-Shirt
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now

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  (302): Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now http://tfl.nu/i71d
  Replies (15) Good night (702) Bad night (4377) Order T-Shirt
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  (713): View more from Texas

  Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.

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  (713): Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night. http://tfl.nu/wvak
  Replies (9) Good night (4142) Bad night (609) Order T-Shirt
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame

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  (724): i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame http://tfl.nu/h4cx
  Replies (1) Good night (2092) Bad night (546) Order T-Shirt
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.

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  (865): He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends. http://tfl.nu/ncfq
  Replies (7) Good night (2567) Bad night (678) Order T-Shirt
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.

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  (248): Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students. http://tfl.nu/08kn
  Replies (50) Good night (803) Bad night (4475)
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  (224): View more from Illinois

  This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.

  (309): View more from Illinois

  Too low?

  (224): View more from Illinois

  Yes.

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  (224): This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd. (309): Too low? (224): Yes. http://tfl.nu/cgtr
  Replies (4) Good night (1735) Bad night (445)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.

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  (720): I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer. http://tfl.nu/jm0p
  Replies (7) Good night (371) Bad night (1075) Order T-Shirt
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  (420): View more from

  Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.

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  (420): Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides. http://tfl.nu/bzue
  Replies (5) Good night (1344) Bad night (381) Order T-Shirt

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