im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
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Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize