What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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