i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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