his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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